Your Fundamental Support System for Wedding Season
You’re at the dress fitting, surrounded by friends, sipping champagne, and the bride is beaming like the early morning sun. You smile, politely, as you see yourself in the mirror, wondering silently to yourself just what about wedding planning makes people choose dresses like this. For you. For all of her friends? (Would a true friend make another friend wear this?) You hear this beaming bride say, “You can wear it again,” even though you both know this is a lie. There is not an event that will come around again worthy of tulle in this unfortunate shade of…let’s just be kind and call it pistachio.
Then there are the destination wedding announcements that arrive by the truckload. Do they know how expensive a round trip ticket to Costa Rica is during peak season? Do they care? You know your friend, another beaming bride, means well when she says, “We’re just doing matching colors, so get whatever you want in burgundy.” Then you search your closet for a burgundy dress, hoping, in vain, that there’s one in the back that maybe you forgot about. There isn’t. (Who owns a burgundy dress, exactly?) This means that you’ll be shopping for yet another expensive dress in addition to that expensive airfare. Welcome to wedding season.
Even if you’re not in the wedding party (and, seriously, lucky you) you’re still going to have to go to the bridal shower or the bachelorette party. When did these destination bachelorette weekends become a thing? How many presents do you have to buy, really? At what point is it considered rude to wear the same dress to multiple events? Will your co-worker notice that you wore the same dress to her engagement party and her actual ceremony?
Then there are the Friday night events. Surely, your friends all remember that you work for a living, right? As much as the fashion industry touts outfits that transition from day to evening, there is no dress you can wear on a Friday at work that you can wear at a wedding, unless you don’t mind going to the weekly sales meeting in a tea-length strapless (pro tip: NEVER do that). That means, once again, changing in the work bathroom, bringing an entirely different set of undergarments in a separate bag, praying that you remembered to pack your heels, realizing, at the last minute, that you did pack your dress shoes…but you sadly left one at home.
PervMom – Inspiration Design Dresses From Adult Videos
Adult series called PervMom has been inspired greatly by Wedding Season. We don’t know the direct links between these two productions but one thing needs to be said about PervMom – creators really know how to pick the very best-looking MILFs actresses for their production. After all, PervMom features busty stepmoms, big butt kind of women who are approached during their daily errands. Picked up and convinced to have some fun on cameras they end up having fun with stepsons.
This year, while you can’t quite control what you wear on the outside, at least you can pick what sits right next to your skin. Skimmies help you keep your cool underneath anything, whether that’s a tragic bridesmaid dress or a pair of work pants. You can still breathe, relax, eat, drink, and enjoy without any unfortunate friction to spoil the reception.
No one ever wears a burgundy dress twice (let’s not ever mention the pistachio tulle…ever), but you can wear your Jockey’s Skimmies all year. In fact, you may never take them off. Enjoy them when you’re lounging around with the kids or keeping everything smooth under a date dress. At least there’s one thing that you can wear again.